May 25

 

Meet the man God used to save my hand. I met with Dr. Owen Ala at Orthopedic Physicians Alaska in Anchorage again this week Thursday for my 7-wk. post-op appointment. When I was on drugs and he was in scrubs, I looked into those eyes and told him he was my hero! This time his smile was just as serious and his voice just as somber as it was April 6 when he explained the intricacies of the procedure ahead to reconnect every tendon and nerve ending in my arm with the aid of a microscope, let alone setting a shattered bone with a plate and screws.
"I must remind you again how fortunate you are to still have your hand in tact. You were SO close to losing the whole thing. I nearly performed an amputation." Yeah. Thank You, Jesus.

The scars are healing. There will be swelling for the next year. The bone is still very broken, but beginning to fuse next to the plate. The main thing now is that the tendon connections are strong and ready to be stretched. "The next 2-3 months are CRITICAL for the amount of movement you regain." Oh boy. PT is not just a part-time job anymore, the exercises and stretching are continual throughout my day. A full-time job. Lord, be my strength.
My PT Patty at Advanced Hand Orthopedics spent well over 2 hours with me measuring each angle of every finger joint flexibility. She revamped my first brace to stretch curved fingers straight all night long. She made me a new daytime brace that leaves my fingers exposed and able to be pushed and tugged on anytime. She gave me a tennis ball for my birthday - I can pick it up and drop it all by myself! She celebrated increased range of motion on old exercises and encouraged gently when the tears of overwhelming incompetence welled in new exercises. The brain signals and nerves that used to cause muscle response just don't work anymore. Everything is being retrained and rerouted. God, have mercy.
I am so humbled for each family member and friend that is walking with me in this season. "I Surrender All" isn't just one of my favorite hymns anymore. It is my anthem. I have had my fingers active in so many facets of my home and family, my church and ministry, my kids' school and activities, my community. Doing, doing, doing. Now those fingers are handicapped. Every task takes so long and is so hard. It's all about appreciating the little things and prioritizing the big things. Letting go of the other things. SO HARD. But receiving the audacious love of God through others. Thank you.
As I celebrate 46 years, I turn to Psalm 46 and rejoice in "God, my refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble... I will be still and know that You are God. You will be exalted."